#IoPT_Session #Nanneke #Early-Trauma
A little over a year ago, close to my birthday, I was invited to join a free IoPT Workshop that was facilitated by a stunning colleague of mine named Nanneke. I was even chosen for a as a 'Issue Holder'. To be frank with you, I don’t even remember what was the intention sentence that I was working on. I don't usually remember. If I'm not mistaken, the sentence was something like, "I want to belong." And during this work, there was a lot of grief and also new/old information about my biological identity.
On that same day of the Workshop, I had guests from abroad, and I was quite busy with them until late at night. Close to midnight, I began to process and integrate the session. It was one of those 'life-changing' sessions for me. The deep, sincere, and true connection with the trauma, with my inner and very young part - so thirsty for love, has unleashed something that was locked in the cellars of oblivion. The Dragon was finally released from the subconscious and could now merge back with my consciousness.
I was so thankful, alive and felt such a relief after the session and I had to somehow document that experience. I wrote the song “Today.” I translated it (from hebrew to English) and sent it to Nanneke thankfully for the delicacy and support she gave me during the session. It was posted on her website, and I share it here now.
Today
Today I have been turned into thousand pieces.
I touched such an old pain,
A pain of a day-old fetus that (maybe) did not choose to be conceived
A pain of a day-old baby who was given away.
Today I felt as in full dilation at childbirth - maybe that was my mothers' pain.
Pain of twenty broken bones,
But what was torn open was my heart.
And there were women around me. These ladies were no less broken than I, and they held
the fragments for me.
Those that can be seen,
And those that you only feel.
Today, after I touched the most deep darkest,
I cried forty-four years of grief and sorrow.
Today, just like after birthing,
I felt exhausted and ragged.
And those women around me, like good midwives, with their kind eyes,
with knowing eyes,
Merge all the splits and fragments with me
Put back all the pieces with such compassion
And all those splits became one whole and clear.
Today I looked up back with them
And I see a woman
One, almost complete,
Lioness.
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